Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Say Goodnight, Mr. Cain

On Tuesday, Herman Cain reportedly told some staffers that he is reassessing the viability of his campaign for the Republican presidential nomination.  This, in the wake of an allegation from a woman who claims she had a long affair with Cain.

Memo to Cain:

Your campaign was never, I repeat, never viable, no matter who was telling you otherwise and throwing money your way.  Oh it looked somewhat promising (at least to you, I’m sure) when you emerged victorious in a straw poll in Florida.  But did you really believe that was a reasonable sampling of the folks from the Sunshine State?

You were only a little interesting because the national media fell for the novelty of your quest.  And once that happened, the newsroom pools were formed and wagers placed on just when you’d trip yourself up, or otherwise implode.

And as the campaign progressed, did you actually believe that you could get away with only 9-9-9 as a platform or that it alone would lead anyone to consider you qualified to hold the highest office in the land?

You dodged a few bullets when first one woman than another accused you of inappropriate behavior at some point in your life.  But with this latest revelation…well, there was just a little too much smoke to believe there was no fire, know what I mean, Herman?  Oh, you protested, of course, as you have more than once.  Me thinks thou dost protest too much.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry certainly helped your cause for a while, by his ability to stumble seemingly at will.  I'm thinking you owe him something for taking some of the heat off you, if only for a day or so.

So, go ahead, reassess all you want.  You’re being dropped like a hot potato by nearly everyone whose support you thought you could count on.  The mainstream GOP?  There never was the possibility of backing there.  The Tea Party?  Yeah, right.  Please.  Right now you are just background noise that is unwelcome.  And don't feel like a lone cast-off.  Gov. Perry will be joining you shortly, as will Rep. Michelle Bachmann.  Hey, one more and you'll have a foursome at golf.  You do play, don't you?

Maybe it was fun for you while it lasted, but I’m sure you’ll come quickly to the realization that there are other things you could be doing with your life.  Hint: maybe smooth things over at home?

Say goodnight, Mr. Cain.

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